Dear Neighbor,

I would like to provide some information that should help you enjoy your dog
much more, and help your dog, too, to enjoy their life as member of your
family.

Member of your family!?!? Well, a dog's societal norms - i.e. the norms which
a dog follows and according to which a dog acts - are different from our -
i.e. human - norms.

A dog follows instincts. It can not act against them, like we act against
ours. It can not "think" like us, "ponder" like us. We can understand how
their society works, if we take the time to study it for a long, long time. Or, if
we read a book - like John Fisher's "Think Dog", which explains in a funny and
easy to understand language how dogs work, with tons of examples and anecdotes
from his life as "dog whisperer".

A dog, of course, can not read a book about how humans work.

Is it fair, and reasonable, to expect a dog to be able to understand our
behaviors, interpret correctly what we mean, when we do certain things?

I think it would be up to the "smarter" ones to learn about and treat the
other according to what they understand, how they are programmed through their
instincts.

A dog is a pack animal. As such it is part of a group and it instinctively
tries to do anything it can to get the approval of the group, to be accepted
by the group. (In that we are actually not so different, are we? Many humans
do really crazy things just to be accepted by their peers...) A pack animal
can not survive for long outside of the group - so being accepted by the group
is a matter of life and death to the dog!

One way - the most severe way available within a pack - to punish a member of
the pack for wrong doing is to expel them from the group. (Again, very similar
to our own behavior, isn't it? Think about school, prison, UN sanctions...)
Such an outcast dog will do anything - ANYTHING - that they can think of that
would allow them to get back into the pack.

A dog accepts and adopts the owner's family as its pack. Whether we like it or
not, whether we understand it, know or are aware of it or not. It tries to get
our acceptance and approval.

I know that dogs have been treated the way you are treating yours. However,
just because somebody else made a mistake doesn't mean you can not do better.
After all, we can choose to grow and go beyond our instincts. Please try to
keep an open mind, and continue reading...

If we tie the dog up, away from the rest of the group, it thinks it has done
something severely wrong - similar to how you would feel if you were tied up
in the center of town with a sign around your neck telling how mean you are.
Well, you can read the sign, and understand what the people are saying. The
Dog can't read. It has no clue what it did wrong or why it is being punished.

It tries to be good. Display its best behavior. Show you its love, its
subordination, its willingness to abide by the rules of the pack. Ever noticed
how it behaves when you go and bring it its food? It wags not just its tail,
but the whole backside. It puts its head down, it puts its tail between the
hind legs. It whelps... All signs of submission. Of "I am sorry!" Of "Please
allow me back into the group, I promise to do better!".

Think about what you would do, if your family ostracizes you. First, you'd try
to get back into their favor. If it doesn't work, you would cry and continue
to try. After a while, however, if nothing you do works, you would get more
and more frustrated and angry. If no matter what you do, they don't allow you
back in, you most likely would start hating them. After some more time, you
might just give up to try. And you would finish your life being angry and mean
to anybody and anything that comes close.

Ever heard of the expression: "A mean yard dog". Well, now you know why the
dog is mean.

A dog is the man's best friend. That is another expression, I am sure, you
heard before.

I believe you got the dog for that reason. For your kids to enjoy the
unconditional love of another being in this world. Maybe to have a friend
around to warn you of intruders and to defend you. And your dog has the
potential to be and do all of that! Its highest priority in life is to be your
friend.

I hope that being its friend is high enough a priority for you, too, to open
your mind to the above information. To try to learn to understand how dogs
work. And to try to treat your dog so it can understand your treatment.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Bets wishes and much joy
with your four-legged friend for life!

Your neighbor

(who is crying, whenever your dog cries for your love...)